Life doesn't have to be justified

Life doesn't have to be justified.  It is the justification.
I was up for a job a couple of weeks ago that required knowledge of HTML, the language used to lay out information on web sites.  Since my knowledge of HTML could only optimistically be called rusty, I started giving myself a crash course in it and was surprised at just how much fun I was having.  Shortly after I started playing with HTML I was told that I would not get the job.

Now, HTML is a useful thing to know and I was really enjoying working with it, so I kept going.  Oddly enough, though, I found that I felt just a bit uncomfortable spending my time on it.  After all, there was no immediate prospect of using it on a job, so didn't that make it a wast of time?  Never mind that I had no other job prospects that required other skills I lack, I somehow felt I should (always a dangerous word) be doing something of direct material benefit.  That invisible jury that is always sitting out there, judging my every thought and action, would otherwise not approve.

I had completely lost sight of the fact that I was having a blast and that having fun is a good thing.  I had fallen into yet another form of spiritual materialism, this time demanding that all learning should have a direct, tangible, "real world" benefit -- sort of a cash value theory of learning.  Now that is twisted.  I was (and am) learning, growing, and having fun.  That is the benefit.  I am astounded at how easily I lose sight of that and bow to what I think "the world" wants me to do.  As if the world gives a hoot what I do.