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Recently I got a call from a close friend, a sponsee in fact, who indicated he was in real distress. We spoke for a while, I expressed sympathy and we discussed how his difficulties relate to the program. I then more or less let it go. After all, this guy has 13 years of exceptionally solid sobriety, he's sponsored a bunch of people... Sure he has problems but he can handle it.
In short, my reaction was awful. Just because he's sober double digit years and is very solid, I actually undervalued his pain. We later made it right -- well, less bad -- but the incident made me think again about how many people with 10 - 15 years relapse. Perhaps we as a fellowship tend to make the mistake I made. Just because someone has been around a long time doesn't mean he can't hurt. I forgot that and from what I've seen I don't think I'm alone.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
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very insightful and true. I have double digit years in Al-Anon and I am just one tiny "think" from forgetting it all. We just have today, we dont build permanent muscles here, just temporary ones. Good post!!
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that many people make this mistake more when people appear to have a "solid program", especially if the person in question is someone others always go to for help.
ReplyDeleteThey can't possibly have their own problems if they help other's solve them so often, right?!