Approaching the Fourth Step

The Fourth Step is one of the two that really scare newcomers looking at the Steps. The other is, of course, the Ninth. In both cases it strikes me that the fear stems from pride, from a failure to see my place in things. Probably the best way to test whether we have done Steps 1, 2 and 3 well is to check whether we are still afraid of 4.
I am reading William A Barry's Finding God in All Things, a Companion to the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. He points out that saints consistently say that they feel more and more sinful the closer they come to God, but that far from finding that depressing, they find joy in it. What gives?

AA and the Culture of Narcissism

In the New York Times of Friday July 15 David Brooks had a fascinating column on the recent Mel Gibson scandal. Most commentators on the Gibson Tapes talk about the racism, sexism, and violence that is expressed. All well and good, but Brooks goes deeper, to the narcissism Gibson flaunts and what it says about our society.
I have often said that in many ways living the AA way of life puts us at odds with our current popular culture. Nowhere is this more true than in the contrast between the humility that AA tells us forms the foundation of recovery and a fulfilled, loving, useful life, and the self-centeredness culminating in full blown narcissism that our culture promotes.

The Three Legacies and Personal Recovery

Dave and I were talking about service a few days ago when he made the point that the Three Legacies, Recovery, Unity and Service are not only essential for the health of AA as a whole but are essential aspects of individual recovery as well. If I've heard that before I wasn't listening because it was a new view of things for me. OK, this is probably pretty much what my sponsor has been trying to tell me for months but hey, I'm a slow learner.

Angels and Drunks

When we choose things, rather than choosing God, it is ultimately our own wills that we are worshiping. (Harbaugh, A 12 Step Approach to the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, p.15).

I am a little surprised at how true I find that statement, given the fact that my concept of "God" (if I can really be said to have one) is far closer to the Spinoza/Einstein/Hawking/Kaufman concept of the totality of natural law than to the more orthodox pre-existing, self-conscious, intervening Creator. When I use the word I am pointing to something much closer to creativity than to a creator.
That said, I find St. Ignatius's emphasis on seeing God in all things to be very important. If we are to have perspective we have to look past individual objects to the underlying reality. We have to look at the river rather than the flotsam, both in our metaphysics or theology and in our ethics.

Efficiency is a spiritual disease

Thomas Merton was once asked what he considered to be the major spiritual disease in the Western world. His answer: "Efficiency. The major spiritual disease in the Western world is efficiency because from the government offices down to the nursery, we have to keep the plant running and, afterwards, we've no energy left for anything else."

Avarice, Faith, Humility, and the Banality of Good

A meeting I attended last night had an interesting discussion of envy. Some very good things were said about how envy is the one deadly sin that gives no one any pleasure, about how it is the opposite of gratitude and about how it saps the pleasure out of life.
I had decided to pass when my turn came, until the woman who spoke before me mentioned that three women had recently asked her to sponsor them, citing the usual reason: she has what they want. She found that amusing, since she recently sold her house and left her job, leaving her with what most people would rate as pretty much nothing.