"The whole spiritual journey might be summed up as humble hope." Thomas Keating

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Land Mines

When I was drinking, every time I got close to something I really wanted I would put land mines in my own path.  I do that a lot less now, but more importantly the program gives me tools to detect and disarm those mines.

Now I just have to learn to use those tools more often.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

The present moment.

I just ran across a quote from Philo of Alexandria  ancient Jewish Philosopher.

"Today means boundless and inexhaustible eternity.  Months and years and all periods of time are concepts of men, who gauge everything by number;  but the the true name of eternity is Today."

I constantly search for peace and eternity somewhere else, managing always to forget that they are here now.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Our minds are like crows.

"Our minds are like crows.  They pick up everything that glitters, no matter how uncomfortable our nests get with all that metal in them." --Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, 104

Mine certainly is.  I've recently found myself mentally chattering a great deal more than usual.  I know what I'm supposed to be focusing on but I keep hopping from shiny thing to shiny thing all the while chattering and screeching away like a monkey on crystal meth.  It's downright unpleasant.

Gee, could it be related to the fact that I've been cutting back on my daily mediation?  As I've said before in this blog, meetings are tremendously helpful, but I need the 11th step.  Right now I'm paying the consequences for neglecting it.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Smiles

This morning I rode the subway in to my regular 7:30 AM meeting.  The crowd on the subway was, as usual, quiet and seemed somewhere between resigned and stoic about the fact that they were heading in to work.  I walked from the subway in to my regular 7:30 AM meeting and was struck by how pretty much everyone was smiling and/or chatting.  The atmosphere was light and joyful.  I was blown away by the contrast with the mood on the subway and more than a little disturbed about the fact that I don't notice this every day.

Then I went in to my work, a rats maze of cubicles surrounded by small offices.  Again, the difference was striking.  Here you could probably find most flavors of unhappiness and smiles were scarce.  Unfortunately, this is something I do notice most days.

Why do I so easily see the darkness and take the light for granted?  It's something I need to do some thinking about.  I also need to think about just how effective a smile can be and I need to do more of that at work.  At the very least I should have some fun making people wonder what's wrong with me.