Believe it!

We are incredible beings.
We live in incredible times.
That is not the issue.
The issue is whether or not we actually believe it.
-Hugh Macleod

In my last post I spoke of "the realization that while individual things might really stink and bad things can and will happen, the world remains a beautiful place"  and I attributed that realization to Faith.  Then I ran across this quote from cartoonist Hugh Macleod and I began once again to think about Humility.  I don't want to get into a chicken-and-egg thing here, but it seems to me that the most important virtues, Faith, Hope, Love and Humility, are deeply intertwined.  I know that the usual lineup is Faith, Hope and Love, but I wonder if any of them is possible without Humility.

Faith is taking the first step...

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
-- Martin Luther King

I saw this quote on a poster in a bus I was riding to a job interview yesterday.  Very nice.

Faith was a difficult concept for me for a very long time.  I was stuck with the concept I had been taught by the nuns in my grade school: faith meant believing what they told you no matter how silly it sounded.   Adolescent rebellion took care of that one pretty fast and unfortunately left nothing in its place.  Cynicism was a sign of intelligence.  The smiling guy was probably pretty dumb.  Reality was grim.  And all this was before I read Sartre.  I was stuck in a 'realism' that recognized only the worst aspects of reality.

It was only with sobriety that I came to a concept of Faith that is beautifully expressed in the above quote from Martin Luther King.  It is an acceptance of reality coupled with an openness to the future, whatever it may bring.  You act to affect future events, not control them.  And with that attitude comes the realization that while individual things might really stink and bad things can and will happen, the world remains a beautiful place.

As I said in an earlier post, my job hunt has been a bit wild this week and here I was yesterday, sitting on a bus, preparing to get back onto that roller coaster when I saw that poster.  Very nice.

Don't Keep Score

What I am saying is this: the score is not what matters. Life does not have to be regarded as a game in which scores are kept and somebody wins. If you are too intent on winning, you will never enjoy playing. If you are too obsessed with success, you will forget to live. If you have learned only how to be a success, your life has probably been wasted.

Thomas Merton. Love and Living. (New York: Harcourt) p. 12

Meetings and meditation reinforce each other

The entire AA program is about personal transformation.  Soon after we enter the fellowship we realize that stopping drinking will never be enough; we have to become new people.  Going through the Steps gives us the solid framework for the transformation, but the transformation, the rewiring of our persons, only comes when it is hammered in through the repetition of meetings and the 10th, 11th, and 12th Steps.  Our trips through the Steps with our sponsors, at retreats, or in AWOLs tell us how we should view the world and behave, but that only becomes an ingrained part of us through repetition.  Spirituality has to become a habit and then grow into just how we are.

Welcome Prayer

I ran across this prayer  this week.  I've been having a rough week and finding this is a gift I would like to share.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.
I welcome everything that comes to me in this moment
because I know it is for my healing.
I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions,
persons, situations and conditions.
I let go of my desire for security.
I let go of my desire for approval.
I let go of my desire for control.
I let go of my desire to change any situation, condition, person, or myself.
I open to the love and presence of God
and the healing action and grace within.
––– Mary Mrozowski

Some thoughts on religion and spirituality

From my very first days in the program I have been aware that there is a difference between religion and spirituality.  I accepted the slogan that says that "religion is for those who are afraid of going to hell; spirituality is for those who have been there."  I pretty much thought of religion as organized and ritualized spirituality.  I certainly saw it as essentially dogmatic and restrictive.  This was certainly colored by my having been raised Catholic in the time when Catholic kids were supposed to go to Catholic schools and never associate with Protestants, doubtless for fear of some form of contamination.  While I never actually thought of it in these terms, I think I viewed spirituality as dancing about like a kid at Woodstock and religion as that kid in a straight jacket and tied to a chair.  Hey, I never said it was a rational or fair view of things, just that it was mine.

Slothin' around

As I have mentioned here before, I was laid off at the beginning of this year and, given my age and specialization, that pretty much means the end of my career in textbook publishing.  After I got sober 10 years ago I was actually in a similar situation and ended up starting my own business selling fine art photography at art fairs.  In 2008 I made some bad business decisions in an unforgiving climate (it's hard to sell people things to put on their walls when they're not sure they're going to have walls).  As a result I ended up back in publishing for a few years, ending in this layoff.

Now, the obvious strategies to pursue are either to apply my skills in another industry or start up another business.  I've been trying the first but I am in an field (educational technology) that, like all technical fields, is rampant with ageism.  That's not a gripe, just a fact I have to deal with.  So, why haven't I started some new variation on my previous business, a business that is tremendous fun, uses many of my skills, and actually adds a little beauty to people's lives?  My theory has been that I am frozen in my tracks by fear of failure. I still think that is true as far as it goes.

This morning, though, I read a description of the traditional Christian view of the deadly sin of Sloth.

Avarice, Faith, Humility, and the Banality of Good

A meeting I attended last night had an interesting discussion of envy. Some very good things were said about how envy is the one deadly sin that gives no one any pleasure, about how it is the opposite of gratitude and about how it saps the pleasure out of life.
I had decided to pass when my turn came, until the woman who spoke before me mentioned that three women had recently asked her to sponsor them, citing the usual reason: she has what they want. She found that amusing, since she recently sold her house and left her job, leaving her with what most people would rate as pretty much nothing.