The dangers of sponsorship

Over the last 6 months or so a friend and I have grown into a 'co-sponsorship' relationship.  He had decided to go through the Steps again and wanted a fresh perspective on them and I need someone to slap me around a little when I let unemployment get me depressed.  It's funny, because we both have sponsors, but this sort of arrangement on these particular issues just seems to work.
This morning I sent my friend some comments on his working of the 3rd Step and it got me thinking about just how careful we have to be when sponsoring.

The 12 Year Itch and the Dark Night of the Soul

Last Monday I gave a friend his 1 Year medallion.  He had been 2 months short of 10 years when he drank for 2 weeks.  In the months leading up to his relapse he did everything he could think of: he attended meetings daily, he spoke with his sponsor and warned of his increasingly dangerous condition, he prayed more and more desperately -- yet he relapsed.

As he described his feelings and behavior in those last few months before his relapse I was intrigued by the fact that what he was saying sounded exactly like classic descriptions of The Dark Night of the Soul, that stage in the spiritual path when one feels alone, abandoned, hopeless, with nothing working as it once did.

Fellowship

This morning at my home group we had a discussion about the Fellowship.  It was good to be reminded of what a special thing an AA group is.  People who have never felt a part of anything feel accepted.  People who are afraid of just about everything in life feel safe.  People feel comfortable talking about things they would virtually never discuss elsewhere.  People know they have somewhere to go for help, that every person in that room wants what is best for them.  It's amazing how you can bump into a fellow AA, someone you've maybe had a few chats with, sit down for a cup of coffee and very quickly begin talking about what is really happening in your lives, what you are happy about, what you are afraid of, and all at a level of reality you almost never reach with non-alcoholics.

It is just plain nice.

Why all this 'practical polytheism', gods/Higher Powers vs idols/Lower Powers stuff?

If you have read any of my recent postings, you've seen that I have been making a lot of use of the idea that people are 'practical polytheists', worshiping multiple gods or Higher Powers and idols or Lower Powers. Among the Higher Powers people worship are God, community, justice, love... and among the Lower Powers/idols one could find money, power, praise, possessions.... Why do I find this approach useful, rather than just sticking with virtues and vices or character assets and character defects?

Check Your Motivations

When I was in early sobriety I went through times, like most people, where I was full of confusion and indecision. I was unsure of about how to act in certain situations, where I could safely go, and which of my old friends I could spend time with without being in danger. I was given a pretty standard prescription from some old timers: "Dave, just check your motivations. You'll know pretty quickly whether or not you should go there." It seemed simple enough to do, except I couldn't quite get the hang of it. After years of Step work I now know why.