"The whole spiritual journey might be summed up as humble hope." Thomas Keating

Monday, May 30, 2011

I got better before I got well

I heard this at a meeting the other day.  The speaker was explaining his recurrent relapses over a period of 24 years.  Every time he stopped drinking things got better.  He felt better.  He was able to get a job.  He acquired material goods.  He developed relationships with women.  In other words, his sobriety was exactly what I imagined mine would be before I entered AA:  his prior life and values minus the booze.   The result, of course, was unhappiness and relapse.  


 AA is not about not drinking.  It is about living in such a way and following such values that you don't have any reason to anesthetize yourself with booze.  AA is about getting well.  I'm tempted to say that when you get well you can handle things getting better and in a way that's true.  The kicker is that the definition of 'better' changes.  You may get your job back or even get a better job.  You may end up in a nicer house with a nice car, etc.  But when you've gotten well, those things matter a LOT less.  Your goals and values change fundamentally.  To cite my favorite Flannery O'Connor quote: You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you odd.

2 comments:

  1. I stole the quote for my facebook status! It's so AA. Thank you for the post. I just finished one that will go up tomorrow on the dry drunk. We're on the same wavelength. I loved this!

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  2. Thanks, Heidi! I love it when you bump into someone, especially a fellow AAer, who's thinking the same kind of things. Looking forward to reading the dry drunk post.

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