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What happens when AA meetings begin to lose their luster?
When a member begins to question the "norm" in AA?
Not so much the process itself (the step work, prayer, meditation, carrying the message), but the series of rituals that have become our meetings?
What happens when this process begins to set in and the member finds more and more reasons to avoid the actual meetings, but tries hard to stay current on the other things (see above)?
What happens when slogans become platitudes, and ritual becomes dogma?
Does the member require help? Do we smirk at their folly? Distance ourselves and treat them as lepers? Is there a way to help them?
I would love to hear some suggestions or comments
Saturday, April 30, 2011
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I go on a limb here when I tell you, I have not been to a meeting in 4 years. I am 24 years sober and every day obtaining sobriety. In my town, which is filled with court ordered attendee's, I find it quite disturbing that our local government would ruin such a great program. I still read, I still observe and I still seek out when I need or must. I have my two bibles (king james & the book) plus I have hazeldon reading I keep close to breast. What happens is we make our decisions knowing they will, I said WILL not may, have reprocusions. If I feel at risk, I now know of a local church that is offering classes and I will attent those. I talked to my hubs just two nights ago about this very matter. I think it's time to check in, introduce myself and maintain my group sobriety with those who understand.
ReplyDeleteI do pray I won't be judge for this as for me, today, this is good. If I did not have God so close to my stand, I would not be near as comfortable with this choice. I wish, truly, the local courts would have a public (private) meeting place JUST for court ordered folks. I find many of them come in drunk, stoned or high as a kite and I won't risk myself for their insincerity. Some court'ies really WANT to sober up. For them, I feel bad. But the whole 'life/limb' is an issue for me in this particular town.
We are the number 2 meth town and even meth addicited are thrown into our AA classes. It is simply frustrating.
Good question.
Tammy
This can be a complicated one. If the member is questioning meetings and staying away only because the ritualization is annoying and distracting, I would say fine. (I recently began attending a meeting that has much more ritual than I am used to and it is a distraction.) There are many paths to sobriety. Meetings are a tool, the steps are also a tool. The goal is a spiritual awakening and living a new life. Meetings and the Steps are the most reliable ways to get there for most alcoholics, but the Steps were jotted down by Bill on a legal pad, not engraved by lightning on stone tablets.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I know people who stay away from meetings out of a feeling of superiority, i.e pride. That is spiritual poison. I've also known people who stayed away to avoid people. That is usually dangerous. I know you and I'm quite sure neither of these warnings applies in your case, but I felt they had to be noted.