AA is the anchor

The discussion of The Dark Night of the 12 Year Itch this past weekend has gotten me to thinking about the role of AA in my spiritual development.  During discussions like this I find myself referring a lot to people like Thomas Keating, St. John of the Cross and Bernard of Clairvaux (and brace yourself for coming references to Beatrice Bruteau).  So where does AA and its literature fit in my spiritual path?  Do I think I've somehow graduated from the Big Book and the Steps and moved on to 'higher things'?

The answer is that AA is the foundation of my entire spiritual path.  While I was drinking I tried a lot of 'get-sane-quick schemes', including various forms of Philosophy (which is my academic background) and spirituality.  In my last drinking years I enthusiastically studied Buddhism, although my progress may have been inhibited a bit by the fact that I was pretty much always drunk when I meditated.  Now, I think all of these spiritual adventures ended up being of value, in some cases, like Buddhism, of very great value to me.  However, at the time they were not grounded in an effort to embrace reality.  In fact, I think I viewed each of these efforts as a possible way of stopping drinking and straightening out my life because I was actually trying to use them as substitutes for drinking, as less toxic ways of avoiding reality.  That is what made them get-sane-quick schemes and not valid spiritual paths.

All that changed with sobriety and AA.  AA is all about facing your demons directly and wrestling with them, not trying to pretend you can somehow sail above them the way I pretended when I was drinking.  The 12 Steps guide me in a reality based spirituality and meetings offer me a fellowship of spiritual pilgrims.  And yet I find myself reading the great spiritual classics, especially those of the Christian traditions, more than ever before.  These traditions not only help me better understand what I am doing in the Steps but they also guide me in building a rich 11th and 12th Step practice.  


AA did not spring fully armored from the head of Bill W.  It is a fruit of humanity's spiritual quest, a quest that has given rise to the great spiritual traditions.  AA is itself a tradition that is constantly growing, developing, becoming richer.  I find it useful, even necessary, to view AA in this context.   Reading John of the Cross on the Dark Night of the Soul has helped me understand the 12 Year Itch in ways I just wouldn't have had access to without him.


Similarly, while Bill's suggestions for the 11th Step in the Big Book and the 12 + 12 are good starts, it is undeniable that there are very rich traditions in prayer and meditation that we should make use of (as Bill says on page 87 of the Big Book).  Right now I am getting a lot out of Thomas Keating's teachings on Centering Prayer.


My approach to spiritual reading has changed fundamentally with AA.  While drinking I was obsessed with gaining a systematic understanding of each of these spiritual traditions, rigorously demanding the logic behind them.  I think this might be one of the signs that I was looking for an alternate reality and not for tools to embrace my life.  Now, while I am still very interested in logic and consistency, I am more interested in what works.  One of my favorite AA slogans is "if it's not practical, it's not spiritual".  AA has given me that practical, rigorously honest approach and that is why it is at the core of my spirituality.