Feelings are not facts (or even character defects)

As I have mentioned so many times, I am unemployed and it gets to me in varying degrees at various times. I frequently let the feeling of depression overwhelm me and actually cripple me, keeping me from doing anything serious about the problem.  The fact is that I always focus on the unemployment itself or maybe the feeling of depression, but I have a lot of trouble looking at the real source: my ingrained belief that the path to happiness goes through economic security, respect or admiration from others, and power to run my own life.
 All of these are illusions.  As for economic security, over the last few years we've all seen what a mirage that is.  Yet I want a steady job, as opposed to some kind of temp or contract work, because I know I would relish the illusion of security a job gives.  Admiration from others?  Well, the most perverse part of that is that I desire admiration whether I respect the people or not.  Of what benefit is getting admiration from someone whose values you despise?  But I want it.  And any AA knows what an illusion power is.
Once again the 11th Step is at the center of things.  I firmly believe that it is through the 11th Step that I have made what progress I have in breaking free from these false paths to happiness and that it is persisting in 11th Step work that I will finally truly realize that turning my will and my life over to my Higher Power is what I need to do (and not just decide to do).  It just doesn't feel that way right now.