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I'm reading Kevin Griffin's A Burning Desire: Dharma God and the Path of Recovery. He refers to acceptance as nonresistance to truth, and as such an aspect of love.
Now, let's get clear from the start: acceptance is not approval.
Acceptance is simply the recognition and openness to reality as it is. I guess ultimately it's being here now. One has to accept, recognize, acknowledge reality before one can act on it. I accept that there is racism, poverty, exploitation, cruelty, injustice -- I don't approve of any of them but I can't do even my tiny bit to combat them if I don't accept that they are there.
OK, acceptance is not approval, but is it love? This is one of those concepts I can only wrap my head around by thinking of the opposite. The opposites of love include anger, hatred, indifference, pride, envy - all that good stuff. It's not hard to see how all of them block my openness to reality as it is. When I succumb to vainglory or pride (two of my favorite character defects) I cut myself off from the world and especially the people in it by living in a dream world where I am very, very important. That blocks me from love.
I'm not sure I am quite ready to say that I see acceptance as part of love, but I can see acceptance, like humility, as being a necessary step on the path to love. And that is very important.
Thanks for the thought, Kevin.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
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For me acceptance is love when it comes to a human being. I may not approve of what they do or how they act, but I can accept that this is their choice and love them anyway. Some call it unconditional love (like God does with us.) If their behavior is unhealthy for me I can place boundaries on my contact with them or tell them how their behavior is hurting me, thereby communicating disapproval, although, not in a judgement sort of way but in a way that is motivated by honesty and being true to myself. If love is based on approval that means you have to act in a way I approve of in order for me to love you. If love is based on acceptance, that means I have to accept people for who they are and it is from that acceptance that love will flow. The difference for me is keeping in mind what I have control over (my attitude of acceptance) and what I don't have control over (other people's actions). As far as things like racism, poverty, injustice, and the like - I accept the reality of their existence but I don't love them because they are not people. They are things people do. It is the person I must accept and then love, not their actions. Very thought-provoking post. Thanks for letting me share. (I am now stepping down from my soap box - lol!)
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